Friday, November 12, 2004
The Warren Admission
Heading into this Sunday's game against rookie quarterback sensation Ben Roethlisberger and the white hot Steelers, Cleveland Browns defensive tackle Gerard Warren has come forth with his strategic key to ensuring a Browns' victory.
"One rule they used to tell me: Kill the head and the body's dead," Warren said.
To make sure his comments did not come across as threatening or unsportsmanlike, Warren clarified his intent.
"I didn't say knock him out of the game, I said just go across his head a time or two. There's a difference."
Ben Roethlisberger has led the Steelers to six consecutive victories since becoming their starting quarterback, including a 34-23 win over the Browns in Pittsburgh. Any team defending their home turf against Big Ben and the Steelers should be hell bent on knocking him off his perch of perfection, right? But shouldn't getting pressure on him and forcing him to make hurried throws be the game plan instead of taking aim for cheapshots? Rather than talking about maybe watching film and learning techniques that might work to get a heavier rush on the 6'5" kid from the University of Miami, Ohio, Warren pointed to his elbows as the answer.
"One of these right here," Warren said, raising his elbow. "Right in the throat, how about that?"
When asked about the fine such a tactic would merit, Warren said, "Hey, it'll be worth it."
What a boneheaded chump. I guess it takes a real tough guy to elbow a guy in the head who's basically standing still and not defending himself. What a stud you must be, Gerard. Is he even talking about winning the game here? It sounds like he's not really concerned with the scoreboard or the rule book as long as he gets to log his share of sucker punches. If that's the case, why even wait for the actual game? Why not go "Full Metal Jacket" and whack him while he sleeps with a bar of soap stuffed into a sock? Wouldn't that be the coolest, Gerard? I mean, that might bring a hefty fine and even some jail time but, after all, "it'll be worth it," right?
Seriously, the Steeler's are good enough as it is, Gerard. You just gave them bulletin board material and basically ensured that Big Ben and the O-line give every effort to make this Sunday the longest day of your life. Hey, maybe you will win though. In this year's NFL, anything's possible. I know one thing though, Gerard; win or lose, I would not want to be you at the bottom of a pile.
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"One rule they used to tell me: Kill the head and the body's dead," Warren said.
To make sure his comments did not come across as threatening or unsportsmanlike, Warren clarified his intent.
"I didn't say knock him out of the game, I said just go across his head a time or two. There's a difference."
Ben Roethlisberger has led the Steelers to six consecutive victories since becoming their starting quarterback, including a 34-23 win over the Browns in Pittsburgh. Any team defending their home turf against Big Ben and the Steelers should be hell bent on knocking him off his perch of perfection, right? But shouldn't getting pressure on him and forcing him to make hurried throws be the game plan instead of taking aim for cheapshots? Rather than talking about maybe watching film and learning techniques that might work to get a heavier rush on the 6'5" kid from the University of Miami, Ohio, Warren pointed to his elbows as the answer.
"One of these right here," Warren said, raising his elbow. "Right in the throat, how about that?"
When asked about the fine such a tactic would merit, Warren said, "Hey, it'll be worth it."
What a boneheaded chump. I guess it takes a real tough guy to elbow a guy in the head who's basically standing still and not defending himself. What a stud you must be, Gerard. Is he even talking about winning the game here? It sounds like he's not really concerned with the scoreboard or the rule book as long as he gets to log his share of sucker punches. If that's the case, why even wait for the actual game? Why not go "Full Metal Jacket" and whack him while he sleeps with a bar of soap stuffed into a sock? Wouldn't that be the coolest, Gerard? I mean, that might bring a hefty fine and even some jail time but, after all, "it'll be worth it," right?
Seriously, the Steeler's are good enough as it is, Gerard. You just gave them bulletin board material and basically ensured that Big Ben and the O-line give every effort to make this Sunday the longest day of your life. Hey, maybe you will win though. In this year's NFL, anything's possible. I know one thing though, Gerard; win or lose, I would not want to be you at the bottom of a pile.
# posted by j.h.k. @ 2:43 PM 
Dear Arte Moreno,
Enough with the Los Angeles Angels nonsense.
I realize that the franchise was born as a Los Angeles team, but it has evolved into something different. Have you spent much time in Los Angeles? When it comes to people and lifestyles, the difference between Los Angeles and Anaheim is pretty amazing given the short geographic distance separating the two. The Angels are a team to root for if you live in Southern California but don't like the "LA" Label. If you don't want to be pinned with the Beverly Hills/Hollywood rap, you root for the Angels. If you live in the suburbs and visit Huntington Beach ten times more than you visit Malibu, you root for the Angels. The Angels are Orange County's team.
I see the same attendance records that you do, Arte, and I see that even with our consecutive 3-million-plus seasons, that the Dodgers still sit one spot higher than us. You want to outdraw them and that's fine, but don't overlook the fact that Dodger Stadium has a whopping 10,950 seat advantage on Angel Stadium in total capacity. If you sort the attendance rankings by percentage, the Angels are 15.6% better than the Dodgers. This number is far more relevant than total attendance.
You're a business man. Surely, you want to maximize your revenue by broadening your fan base to all of the Los Angeles area. Any fool could tell you there is more money to be made from a city of 3.8 million than there is from a city of 328,000. However, the numbers don't tell the whole story here.
L.A. fans are front-running, bandwagon fans. They're not going to drive 30 miles down the dreaded I-5 freeway just because you put the name of their city on your jerseys. The Clippers can attest to that and they play in the same building as their Los Angeles counterparts. L.A. fans root for winners, plain and simple. If you want more Dodger-area fans in the stands, all you have to do is outperform the Dodgers in the standings.
While slapping "Los Angeles" on the jerseys won't really bring L.A. fans, it will almost certainly drive many of the current Angel fans away. As I said before, some people in Southern California relish the chance to root for a team that does not come with the baggage of an L.A. host. They don't want to see L.A. fans at Angel Stadium. Why would you risk betraying the 6,436,771 fans that have filled your seats in the last two years, raking up hot dogs, beers, and ice-cold coolicoos? The more you talk about broadening your base and calling out to the reaches of the L.A. basin, the more you seem to take for granted the great and numerous fans you already have.
Mr. Moreno, I implore you, stop toying around with the name of this team. I believe no team should have more uniform, logo, and name changes than it has division championships. We're finally starting to get some consistency and credibility going here and the last thing we need is another name change. If you want to beat the Dodgers, focus on how the roster looks rather than the cover of the media guide.
Sincerely,
John Kumpart, a loyal and longtime Angel fan
P.S. As a Spanish-speaker, I would think you would be more tuned to the lunacy of having a team that translates to The Angels Angels.
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I realize that the franchise was born as a Los Angeles team, but it has evolved into something different. Have you spent much time in Los Angeles? When it comes to people and lifestyles, the difference between Los Angeles and Anaheim is pretty amazing given the short geographic distance separating the two. The Angels are a team to root for if you live in Southern California but don't like the "LA" Label. If you don't want to be pinned with the Beverly Hills/Hollywood rap, you root for the Angels. If you live in the suburbs and visit Huntington Beach ten times more than you visit Malibu, you root for the Angels. The Angels are Orange County's team.
I see the same attendance records that you do, Arte, and I see that even with our consecutive 3-million-plus seasons, that the Dodgers still sit one spot higher than us. You want to outdraw them and that's fine, but don't overlook the fact that Dodger Stadium has a whopping 10,950 seat advantage on Angel Stadium in total capacity. If you sort the attendance rankings by percentage, the Angels are 15.6% better than the Dodgers. This number is far more relevant than total attendance.
You're a business man. Surely, you want to maximize your revenue by broadening your fan base to all of the Los Angeles area. Any fool could tell you there is more money to be made from a city of 3.8 million than there is from a city of 328,000. However, the numbers don't tell the whole story here.
L.A. fans are front-running, bandwagon fans. They're not going to drive 30 miles down the dreaded I-5 freeway just because you put the name of their city on your jerseys. The Clippers can attest to that and they play in the same building as their Los Angeles counterparts. L.A. fans root for winners, plain and simple. If you want more Dodger-area fans in the stands, all you have to do is outperform the Dodgers in the standings.
While slapping "Los Angeles" on the jerseys won't really bring L.A. fans, it will almost certainly drive many of the current Angel fans away. As I said before, some people in Southern California relish the chance to root for a team that does not come with the baggage of an L.A. host. They don't want to see L.A. fans at Angel Stadium. Why would you risk betraying the 6,436,771 fans that have filled your seats in the last two years, raking up hot dogs, beers, and ice-cold coolicoos? The more you talk about broadening your base and calling out to the reaches of the L.A. basin, the more you seem to take for granted the great and numerous fans you already have.
Mr. Moreno, I implore you, stop toying around with the name of this team. I believe no team should have more uniform, logo, and name changes than it has division championships. We're finally starting to get some consistency and credibility going here and the last thing we need is another name change. If you want to beat the Dodgers, focus on how the roster looks rather than the cover of the media guide.
Sincerely,
John Kumpart, a loyal and longtime Angel fan
P.S. As a Spanish-speaker, I would think you would be more tuned to the lunacy of having a team that translates to The Angels Angels.
# posted by j.h.k. @ 1:30 AM
Thursday, November 11, 2004
This Should Go Well
I've asked for a meeting with my boss today. I plan to ask him for a month off so that I can focus more on my blog. I'll let you know how it goes.
More on Ron "The 'Stache" Artest later...you can count on it.
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More on Ron "The 'Stache" Artest later...you can count on it.
# posted by j.h.k. @ 9:54 AM
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Checking In
There hasn't been much going on this week and I've been swamped at work (I usually blog on my lunch break), but I thought I should at least check in. Let's take a second to see where we're at...
Maurice Clarrett and Ohio State University is the big scandal de jour. I'm not sure I believe every word of Clarrett's account, but I'm sure most of it is probably true. With the way he makes out the proud alumni and "friends" of the Ohio St. football program, perhaps Clarrett should be entering the Witness Protection Program following his tell-all interview for ESPN The Magazine. Seriously, if this Buckeye mafia can routinely line their birdcages with the NCAA rule book, who's to say they couldn't arrange a well-timed whack job on the canary that Clarrett has turned out to be? If the NCAA finds that these allegations are true, they will certainly suffer strict sanctions and will undoubtedly lose millions. This is the situation in mobster movies when guys get a piano wire necklace. According to Clarrett, they stabbed him in the back once to save their butts; who's to say they won't do it again--literally--to shut him up? Maurice, you might wanna lay low for a while.
As much as it saddens me, I am glad that the corruption of college football is being exposed here as it was at the University of Colorado. If everybody keeps on getting away with it, nothing is ever going to change. Then again, this is not the first time something like this has come out and regardless of what happens to Ohio State, it surely won't be the last.
So what do we make of young Maurice in all this? Is he a hero to college athletics for pulling back the curtain on a backstage show of backstabbing and glad-handing? Was he justified in spilling the buckeyes after the way the program seemingly sold him out or does this make him a "squealer," never to be trusted by teammates or franchises again? I suspect most players who have witnessed the underbelly of college sports firsthand will not hold it against Maurice, even if they don't lend their full support.
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With Scott Boras' list of superclients, he holds the fate of many teams in his hands. Don't think he doesn't know it either, supposedly asking for 10-year, $20 million-per deals for Beltre and Beltran. Of course, no player is worth such an asking price, but the sad thing is that someone (see Yankees) will almost definitely end up paying it and the scale will be jacked up to an even more proposterous level. What's the over/under on years until a book titled "Scott Boras: The Man Who Killed Baseball" is published? I'll put it at fifteen and I'll take the under.
Well, that's all for now, folks; duty calls. Look for posts every five to ten minutes once baseball's offseason hot stove gets cooking.
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Maurice Clarrett and Ohio State University is the big scandal de jour. I'm not sure I believe every word of Clarrett's account, but I'm sure most of it is probably true. With the way he makes out the proud alumni and "friends" of the Ohio St. football program, perhaps Clarrett should be entering the Witness Protection Program following his tell-all interview for ESPN The Magazine. Seriously, if this Buckeye mafia can routinely line their birdcages with the NCAA rule book, who's to say they couldn't arrange a well-timed whack job on the canary that Clarrett has turned out to be? If the NCAA finds that these allegations are true, they will certainly suffer strict sanctions and will undoubtedly lose millions. This is the situation in mobster movies when guys get a piano wire necklace. According to Clarrett, they stabbed him in the back once to save their butts; who's to say they won't do it again--literally--to shut him up? Maurice, you might wanna lay low for a while.
As much as it saddens me, I am glad that the corruption of college football is being exposed here as it was at the University of Colorado. If everybody keeps on getting away with it, nothing is ever going to change. Then again, this is not the first time something like this has come out and regardless of what happens to Ohio State, it surely won't be the last.
So what do we make of young Maurice in all this? Is he a hero to college athletics for pulling back the curtain on a backstage show of backstabbing and glad-handing? Was he justified in spilling the buckeyes after the way the program seemingly sold him out or does this make him a "squealer," never to be trusted by teammates or franchises again? I suspect most players who have witnessed the underbelly of college sports firsthand will not hold it against Maurice, even if they don't lend their full support.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
With Scott Boras' list of superclients, he holds the fate of many teams in his hands. Don't think he doesn't know it either, supposedly asking for 10-year, $20 million-per deals for Beltre and Beltran. Of course, no player is worth such an asking price, but the sad thing is that someone (see Yankees) will almost definitely end up paying it and the scale will be jacked up to an even more proposterous level. What's the over/under on years until a book titled "Scott Boras: The Man Who Killed Baseball" is published? I'll put it at fifteen and I'll take the under.
Well, that's all for now, folks; duty calls. Look for posts every five to ten minutes once baseball's offseason hot stove gets cooking.
# posted by j.h.k. @ 1:54 PM
