Friday, October 01, 2004

 

Shaq Needs A Nap

I'm beginning to understand why all my non-Laker-fan friends have hated Shaquille O'Neal for years. Everytime he opens his mouth these days, he seems more and more like a petulent little child, pining for attention and throwing senseless temper tantrums.

His latest comments came after news broke that Kobe Bryant had implicated him to Colorado investigators as having paid up to $1 million in hush money to women he'd had affairs with.

His first comments came on Wednesday.

"This whole situation is ridiculous," Shaq told ESPN. "I never hang out with Kobe, I never hung around him. In the seven or eight years we were together, we were never together. So how this guy can think he knows anything about me or my business is funny. And one last thing -- I'm not the one buying love. He's the one buying love."

Did I miss the part where he denied the allegations? The only time I've heard anyone so deftly avoid actually answering a question was in last night's Presidential Debate. I presume his comment about "buying love" is in reference to the Jewel-of-the-Nile-esque diamond ring Kobe bought for his wife as an apparent apology gift. Unless he's indicating that Mrs. Bryant is a mail-order bride, I can't imagine what else he could mean. Shaq may have a point there, but he's missing the bigger point in that, while Kobe might be the one "buying love," both former champs are cheating love with their infidelities.

Yes, I believe that Kobe's statement is somewhat accurate. Everyone knows he and Shaq were not best buddies that hung out with each other in their spare time, but when teammates are on the road together over the course of several seasons, you can bet they know how each other spends his spare time to some extent. Besides, why would he say that to a couple cops if it weren't true? What could he possibly stand to gain from that? He said it matter of factly while being informally interrogated about a possible sexual assault. What would the thought process supposedly be there? "These cops are asking me if I raped a girl...What a great opportunity to make false allegations of infidelity about Shaq!" Sounds believable to me, sure.

Let's not forget the timing of Kobe's barbs versus Shaq's retort either. Kobe made the comments in private over a year ago in a situation where he could not have imagined his words being spread over the newswires worldwide. Once it appeared the comments may be leaked to the media, Kobe's defense team did all it could to keep the transcript under wraps to protect Shaq, if not to protect Kobe. When did Shaq answer back? It was only after the news broke more than a year after the comments were made. And who did Shaq give his response to? It wasn't a couple cops in a surprise visit, it was the national media so all the sporting world could hear it. Where as Kobe's comments really had no personal intention, Shaq's had only that. Shaq's shots were meant to rip his former-teammate now-archrival. What's more, Shaq knew about Kobe's implication before training camp of last year. They played together in camp and over eight months of an NBA season together and Shaq waited to respond until after he'd been traded to a team 3,000 miles away? C'mon! He should have dealt with Kobe in person and behind closed doors, not waited until now and used the national media as his microphone. It's not as if Kobe intentionally released the transcript to spite Shaq so why does The Big Baby have to snipe back at comments that were 15 months old? I'll explain why I think he does later. First let me relay Shaq's next take on the player he affectionately referred to as his little brother on a number of occasions.

On Thursday, Shaq had this to say to local Florida paper while doing a photo shoot.

"The guy's a joke. I'm just trying to tell the world that the whole time, but just because he hits a couple of shots, everybody thinks he's a great person. He's a clown."

Of course, we all want to believe that the people we worship as sports heroes are virtuous people off the court or field and that is why we often give them that benefit of the doubt until they prove us wrong. For example, without having any real evidence to support it, my vision of Shaq The Family Man was always of a responsible father and husband. Until I heard he too was a frequent adulterer, using women to satisfy urges on the road like Mark Madsen used Wendy's Frostees and caffeine-free Sprite. There's nothing wrong with giving people the benefit of the doubt, a concept that has nothing to do with clutch shots and points per game averages. While I still don't know enough about Kobe Bryant's personal life to argue about whether or not he's a "clown," I'm fairly certain I have sufficient evidence to believe Shaq is of the clownish persuasion himself.

Shaq could very well be the most ego-centric, self-absorbed of all professional athletes. Anyone with even a grain of cynicism about modern sports will realize the mammoth implications of that distinction. Why do you think he loves to give himself new nicknames in every interview? Why do you think he goes so far out of his way to make sports writers think he's funny? It's because he needs all the attention on him at all times. He craves the spotlight more than Gloria Swanson in"Sunset Boulevard." I'm not the only one to theorize that Shaq was subconsciously jealous of all the focus Kobe got during his scandal, regardless of it being horribly negative publicity. And why is Shaq still rapping about Kobe and resorting to namecalling about Kobe months after their team ties were severed? It's because he is as bitter as a box of lemonheads about losing the custody battle that was the Lakers team. He's still fuming and so he's still spouting off to the media every chance he gets. I've already said all this before so I'll leave at that.

I do praise Kobe for not being baited into this pettiness by Shaq, but I am not defending Kobe Bryant in any way. To be honest, I have never really considered Kobe Bryant outside of the realm of basketball. Shaq, however, was one of my favorites, a larger than life jokester who knew not to take life too seriously. I wish I could see him that way now.



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Angels in Playoff Purgatory

How can I be expected to work today when in a matter of hours my beloved Angels will begin an epic three-game series in Oakland to decide the final playoff spot? I can't focus! It's a waste of time and energy to try! We're talking about a division series to decide who goes to the Division Series! Bartolo "The Mule" Colon versus Mark "Your Girlfriend Would Leave You For Me" Mulder! It has been a long, tumultuous season for us Angel fans and by now we're hanging on by a very thin thread. Despite losing some series that they really shouldn't have, I'm proud of the Angels' efforts this year. But to come this close to the playoffs and not make it would be absolutely devastating. I don't even want to consider it right now. All I can do is count down the minutes to Game 1. Part of me wants to think about potential playoff matchups, the stamina of the pitching staff, and whether I could get out of work a little early to make full use of my tickets for Game 4 of the Division Series. I've got to punch that John in the gut though. The way the Halos have played this year, I can only hope and guess as to which team shows up tonight. And that's what kills me; I can't make any assumption on how the team is going to play. It would be one thing if I were sure they would bring consistently good offense and pitching to the diamond and I had to worry about whether the A's would just out duel us. I have absolutely no comfort zone. All I can say is that they've played well in the last week and have shown the ability to rise to the occasion in big games. They don't get much bigger than these next three. I guess it just comes down to faith.

The entire season comes down to the last three games of the year, on the road versus our American League West rivals. I wouldn't have it any other way. This is the way I want to get into the playoffs, by beating the two-time defending division champs in their own house. Throw these two teams in a cage and let whoever comes out represent the West. Leave no doubt, I say.

Jose Guillen's Union appeal hearing is this afternoon. If he should win and be forced to be reinstated to the team, he surely would not play. The Angels have made that crystal clear. But would they be forced to have him in the dugout? I certainly hope not. Can you imagine the tension in there on top of the pressure already there given the magnitude of the series? It would be a decidedly large disadvantage to the Angels. If Jose Guillen has any consideration for the team, he'll take his extra paycheck and stay at home. His teammates might miss him, but they don't need him in the clubhouse right now. They're 4-1 without him and they've got to be thinking about nothing but the Oakland Athletics for the next three (or possibly only two) days. If he wants to save any face at all, he'll keep his out of sight. And I like Jose Guillen. It's nothing personal; it's just about focus.

Here we go, Angel fans. We control our own destiny. Win, and we're in. Do you believe?

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Wednesday, September 29, 2004

 

Quote of the Day

"I can drive my boat left handed."

--Troy Percival describing how he was prepared to pitch on Tuesday night, even after appearances in three consecutive games.

By the way, since Jose Guillen is done playing major league baseball this season, I'd like to extend an open invitation to Jose to come out and play for my company slow-pitch softball team. You know, to keep his batting eye finely tuned. Of course, he's got to respect my authority as player/manager.

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Dodger Bruise

In case you missed it, there was an incident at Dodger Stadium last night and, unfortunately, I'm not referring to the Dodgers 5-run ninth inning rally to win. I'm referring to the right field water fight between Milton Bradley and a disgruntled fan. After Bradley committed an error with the bases loaded, allowing two runs to score, a fan threw a water bottle on the field at Bradley. An infuriated Milton (is there another kind?) approached the stands and threw the water bottle back, yelling at the fan.

Are you f'ing kidding me, Dodger fans?! It's one thing for Oakland fans to harass their opponents' bullpen, but you choose to throw objects at your own players?! A player on a team that is in first place after being predicted to finish third no less! I'm not sure if you can get much more despicable than that as a fan. Are you the same guy that shot a Giants fan outside of Dodger Stadium last year? If not, I'm sure you must know him. I find it hard to believe that the two biggest bonehead fans in Los Angeles don't hang out. Maybe this idiot wasn't even a Dodger fan you say? Had they been hosting the Yankees, you might have a point, but this was Colorado. I'll bet my next paycheck (or a 2-liter bottle of soda which is actually worth more) that this moron was not part of an L.A. splinter cell of Rockies Nation. No, he was definitely an Angeleno. It's no wonder why fans everywhere else chant "Beat LA."

By the way, Arte Moreno, that chant is not something I'd like to be applicable to an Angels game.

And what the hell were you thinking, Milton? I can understand how you would be emotionally fragile after committing an error with the bases loaded and how one of your own fans booing you might push you over the edge a little bit. But what was that taking-your-jersey-off thing? Why were you taunting your home fans as you entered the dugout even if they were booing you? They surely were not upset with your error so much as your childlike temper tantrum. They've been laughing it off all year as you turned your tirades on umpires. Don't you think they deserve a break when you focus your fury on one of your own even if that fan was well over the line? Of course they do. With the Playoffs a week away, now is not the time to create a rift with your fans.

Despite all the criticism he gets, I think Jim Tracy is a good manager. However, after his quote last night, I have to question his PR skills. Tracy had this to say about the rumble in the ravine:

"Obviously, Milton let his emotions get the best of him tonight, and I feel terrible about that. I think that fans -- our fans, anyone's fans -- they pay money to come to the game. And jeering and getting on you is a part of it. We've all been a part of that. That's part of the game. Unfortunately, he allowed his emotions to spill over on the other side of the wall, and that's something you can't let happen."

The first thing he has to say is to defend the lunatic fan?! Jim, fans do have a right to jeer the players, but they have absolutely no right to throw things at them. That's not "part of the game" or at least it's not supposed to be. Yes, Milton is very much in the wrong here, but you're his damn manager. You should be sticking up for him and leading with your view of how unfortunate it was to see fans throwing at players. Remember that this fan let his emotions "spill over on the other side of the wall" first. This was hardly a random attack on Bradley's part. Your guy's gonna get fined and suspended for this incident and you're gonna jump on board and put all the blame on him too? I think a manager should back up his guys a little better than that. You don't need to make excuses for him, but you don't need to sell him out either when there was more than one party at fault.

First Guillen gets suspended, now Bradley goes postal. Does it seem like October to anyone else? One more case like this and I think we have legitimate grounds to declare Playoff Fever an official disease.


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Not That You Care But...

Since November of 2003, I have lost 25 lbs., 5 inches on my waist, and 11% body fat.

To quote Ty Webb, "I feel like a hundred dollars."

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Tuesday, September 28, 2004

 

Commonly Overlooked Cruelty

Anyone making microwave popcorn in an office environment should be shot. It's a torture level we haven't seen since the Medieval Times and the punishment should fit the crime.

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"That's how you become great, man...Hang your balls out there."

I'm calling it right now: the Dodgers will go to the World Series. This is not open for discussion because I'm not a Dodger fan and I really don't care that much. I'm just getting my prediction on record.

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Quote of the Day

"He's in scoring position when he's in the batter's box."

--Mike Scioscia on the speedy Chone Figgins

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Suspension Tension

I've heard some fellow Angel fans criticizing the timing of Jose Guillen's suspension, saying it created a media storm of off-the-field issues when the Angels needed to be focused on baseball and that they should have waited until the offseason to discipline Jose so harshly. I could not disagree more.

If there is an issue of a player showing up his manager, it needs to be dealt with immediately. Of course this suspension will create a constant line of "what about Guillen?" questioning, but who's to say that more damage would not be done to the team chemistry by not addressing the problem swiftly and effectively? In case you haven't noticed, the Angels have not been playing great ball lately. Their offense and their pitching seem to be on alternating schedules; if one does well, the other does not. Keeping a disgruntled Jose Guillen in the clubhouse after his tirade (and whatever else happened that we did not see) could have very well served as the dead weight that finally sank the Angels' season once and for all. They were already feeling the pressure of the pennant race and the disappointment of not playing to the best of their abilities; you think they needed player/manager tension on top of that?

While on the topic of pressure, maybe all this media attention about Guillen's suspension will actually help them by diverting attention off of their every pitch, thrown and swung at. It's no coincidence that since Guillen's suspension, the Angels have displayed two of their most spirited efforts of the season. If you've witnessed all their highs and lows, you can just see that something is clicking again in the Halos' dugout. They have that all-for-one look of the 2002 World Champions again. I'm not saying that Jose Guillen was holding them back from achieving that until now nor am I saying that his teammates feel they're better off without him. No team would prefer Adam Riggs' sub-.200 average to Guillen's 100+ RBI, and the players will surely miss Jose as a teammate. But let's be honest here, the Angels needed something to happen. They needed something to snap them out of their recent funk. I was calling for Scioscia to find that necessary spark last week if you'll recall. My point is that this suspension, good or bad in its own right, could very well serve as that much needed spark. I believe it has so far and will be recognized more widely as such as the Angels continue to heat up in this final week of the season. The prospect of this suspension giving the Angels a boost in team chemistry and unity far outweighs the loss of Jose's bat and the media scrutiny.

I believe the Angels will win the AL West. Even if they don't, however, I will not even think of using GuillenGate as an excuse. I'm proud to have a team on the field that doesn't ask me to make excuses for its players' behavior.


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Monday, September 27, 2004

 

Seperated at Birth?


"The World is a better place without Jose Guillen in Left Field."

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President Stoneman?

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Big Weekend....Huge.

Wow. What a weekend. With so much to address and me being the working man with the one-hour lunchbreak, I am going to just shoot from the hip here, sacrificing anything stylish, researched, or well-thought-out. I'm sure no one will mind...

The only people foolish enough to believe that Jose Guillen got suspended for tossing his batting helmet are probably the ones that still think Lee Harvey Oswald was the only party responsible for assassinating Kennedy (John F., not Adam). Based on his behavioral hiccups throughout the season, it's believable that this could merely be the straw that broke the camel's back, but that's exactly why the Angel brass is sticking to that as the explanation. If there were nothing more to this suspension than a series of incidents like Saturday's tantrum, then why has Ramon Ortiz not been suspended? After all, hasn't Ortiz been putting his own interests before the team's all season, questioning Scioscia's decisions and demanding trades every time he's asked to play a lesser yet still vital role? Make no mistake about it, Jose Guillen did something beyond what we saw on the field Saturday.

Whatever it was, it really doesn't matter. The Angels had a player who was disruptive to the team concept and their chemistry so they acted like Keanu Reeves in "Speed" and took him out of the equation. Yes, Guillen was having a season second only to Vlad Guerrero, but that makes this move all the more admirable. No player--make that no player--is bigger than the team. The team seemed to respond to the suspension well on Sunday in their impressive 6-2 win over the A's, but it may very well still come back to bite them in the proverbial butt before this season is gone. This entire season could come down to a throw from left field to the plate and the Angels could find themselves coming up a few feet off line...but it doesn't matter. Mike Scioscia, Bill Stoneman, and Arte Moreno have made a statement about the conduct they expect from their players and they are willing to sacrifice winning for the sake of winning the right way. This move solidifies my love for the Angels organization and I hail them for it. I do now and I will even if they do lose because of it. Whether it's a fair question or not, I wonder whether George Steinbrenner would have allowed such an untimely suspension if there were similar problems with Gary Sheffield. Something tells me he wouldn't.

So what's next for Guillen and the Angels? I guess it's pretty much a given that he will be traded despite Scioscia's statements that he would welcome Jose "back into the fold" next season. My colleague Joe Lederer came up with a great scenario that I give my full endorsement to. Trade Guillen to the Cubs for Matt Clement and pursue free agent outfielder Carlos Beltran. As Joe pointed out, after dealing with Barry in San Francisco, Dusty Baker might be the perfect manager to handle Jose and the Angels could sure use the pitching help with Sele and Ortiz both likely to be gone at season's end. Beltran would be a tremendous addition to the Angels offensively, more than making up for the loss of Guillen's bat and with Sele and Kevin Appier off the books, they can certainly afford his price tag. He'd be a defensive upgrade in centerfield, allowing Anderson to switch back to his natural position in Left. I love the deal. Let's do that.
Now then, enough about next season, last time I checked the Angels were still hell bent on this year's postseason...

...And you could feel it in the air Sunday night in Anaheim. I arrived an hour before the first pitch and barely found a spot in the free parking off Orangewood. That was the first sign that this game would be special. Moving about the field level concourse, there was a palpable buzz among Angel Nation. This was no casual Sunday afternoon game where you stretch out and relax; you could see it in their quickened paces, the fans in Anaheim were feeling a sense of urgency. I had taken my girlfriend to a game just less than a month before and it was kind of a yawner. Even as a devout fan, I could understand how a person could be only mildly interested. As soon as we found our seats on Sunday night, I knew this game would be different. On the ground in front of each seat laid packages of Thunderstix. With the first pitch of the game, Angel Stadium became a prison riot of banging stix and shouting cheers. I turned to my girlfriend and said something to the effect of "Now this is what I was telling you about!" In this late season game with the Angels two games back in the West, I witnessed spirit and enthusiasm in Angel Stadium comparable to that of Game Six of the 2002 World Series. To quote Chris Farley from "Tommy Boy," "It....was......AWESOME." After my Thunderstix deflated, I made my hands ache and tingle from clapping so loudly. It made me proud to be an Angel fan...

...So proud, in fact, I bought tickets for the Division Series this morning...and confirmed plans with my buddies to go to the regular season finale in Oakland this weekend to make sure that the Angels are playing in said Series. Road trip! I told our driver, The Cruiser, that we should write on his car windows like the annoying little league moms. Angels Road Warriors. AL West or bust. Take your OBP and shove it up your a$&. He respectfully declined. Granted, the Angels have not played well lately and they have a monumental four-game series in Texas beforehand that could easily knock them out, but based on what I saw last night on the field and in the stands, I'm ready to say with all my heart that which I have not since 2002...I believe.

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I don't think there's any question as to whether or not I like Randy Moss. If you aren't sure, scroll down and read about the time he did a touchdown pose to celebrate an incomplete pass. Better yet, check the espn archives for the time he said he only gave effort on the plays where he wanted to. When you're done, maybe you can explain how why he thought it was funny to run over a traffic cop last year in Minneapolis and then chauvinistically degrade a female reporter that asked him about it. For all the crap that Randy Moss has done, I think he deserves just as much credit for his good deeds, of which I knew nothing of until Sunday.

After scoring each of his two touchdowns, he ran over to the back of the Vikings' endzone and gave the touchdown ball to a disabled man in a wheelchair, grabbing the man's arms and pumping them in celebration, even if the man could not do it for himself. I wish I knew more about their relationship but the postgame coverage was limited to Stuart Scott's description of the man as Randy's "friend that he comes to every game with." Aren't celebrations like this so much more enjoyable than poorly choreographed dances and cell phone pantomimes? Bravo, Randy Moss! You've set a great example for your fans and your colleagues. There, I said it...now I need a shower.

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USC was favored by 22.5 points against Stanford this weekend and I took them to cover. If that spread had applied to only the second half, I still would have lost, but I wouldn't have been embarrassed. USC mostly sleepwalked through the first two quarters at The Farm, but was jarred awake by the image on the scoreboard at halftime: Stanford 28, USC 17. Funny thing was, I wasn't all that worried. I was building a pen for my crippled cat at the time and you might think I would get nervous and focus all my attention on the game. Neh, I just kept hammering away, knowing my Trojans would do the same. I'm not sure why I had such confidence considering SC had taken a similar shot to the chin almost exactly one year prior at Cal and not recovered to win. I guess I just felt like they had been as devastated by that loss as I was and probably learned a thing or two from it. By the looks of the scoreboard at the end of the game, it would appear they had: Stanford 28, USC 31. An impressive win? Half yes, half no. Despite giving up 300 yards of offense for the first time this season, the defense deserves a lot of credit for making game plan and attitude adjustments to the tune of 36 total second half yards allowed. With the bye week coming up, I'm confident Pete Carroll will get this team focused on four quarters of focused football. Beware a Trojan team with a close call and a bye week. Cal Bears, get ready for your day of reckoning.





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