Friday, October 01, 2004
Shaq Needs A Nap
I'm beginning to understand why all my non-Laker-fan friends have hated Shaquille O'Neal for years. Everytime he opens his mouth these days, he seems more and more like a petulent little child, pining for attention and throwing senseless temper tantrums.
His latest comments came after news broke that Kobe Bryant had implicated him to Colorado investigators as having paid up to $1 million in hush money to women he'd had affairs with.
His first comments came on Wednesday.
"This whole situation is ridiculous," Shaq told ESPN. "I never hang out with Kobe, I never hung around him. In the seven or eight years we were together, we were never together. So how this guy can think he knows anything about me or my business is funny. And one last thing -- I'm not the one buying love. He's the one buying love."
Did I miss the part where he denied the allegations? The only time I've heard anyone so deftly avoid actually answering a question was in last night's Presidential Debate. I presume his comment about "buying love" is in reference to the Jewel-of-the-Nile-esque diamond ring Kobe bought for his wife as an apparent apology gift. Unless he's indicating that Mrs. Bryant is a mail-order bride, I can't imagine what else he could mean. Shaq may have a point there, but he's missing the bigger point in that, while Kobe might be the one "buying love," both former champs are cheating love with their infidelities.
Yes, I believe that Kobe's statement is somewhat accurate. Everyone knows he and Shaq were not best buddies that hung out with each other in their spare time, but when teammates are on the road together over the course of several seasons, you can bet they know how each other spends his spare time to some extent. Besides, why would he say that to a couple cops if it weren't true? What could he possibly stand to gain from that? He said it matter of factly while being informally interrogated about a possible sexual assault. What would the thought process supposedly be there? "These cops are asking me if I raped a girl...What a great opportunity to make false allegations of infidelity about Shaq!" Sounds believable to me, sure.
Let's not forget the timing of Kobe's barbs versus Shaq's retort either. Kobe made the comments in private over a year ago in a situation where he could not have imagined his words being spread over the newswires worldwide. Once it appeared the comments may be leaked to the media, Kobe's defense team did all it could to keep the transcript under wraps to protect Shaq, if not to protect Kobe. When did Shaq answer back? It was only after the news broke more than a year after the comments were made. And who did Shaq give his response to? It wasn't a couple cops in a surprise visit, it was the national media so all the sporting world could hear it. Where as Kobe's comments really had no personal intention, Shaq's had only that. Shaq's shots were meant to rip his former-teammate now-archrival. What's more, Shaq knew about Kobe's implication before training camp of last year. They played together in camp and over eight months of an NBA season together and Shaq waited to respond until after he'd been traded to a team 3,000 miles away? C'mon! He should have dealt with Kobe in person and behind closed doors, not waited until now and used the national media as his microphone. It's not as if Kobe intentionally released the transcript to spite Shaq so why does The Big Baby have to snipe back at comments that were 15 months old? I'll explain why I think he does later. First let me relay Shaq's next take on the player he affectionately referred to as his little brother on a number of occasions.
On Thursday, Shaq had this to say to local Florida paper while doing a photo shoot.
"The guy's a joke. I'm just trying to tell the world that the whole time, but just because he hits a couple of shots, everybody thinks he's a great person. He's a clown."
Of course, we all want to believe that the people we worship as sports heroes are virtuous people off the court or field and that is why we often give them that benefit of the doubt until they prove us wrong. For example, without having any real evidence to support it, my vision of Shaq The Family Man was always of a responsible father and husband. Until I heard he too was a frequent adulterer, using women to satisfy urges on the road like Mark Madsen used Wendy's Frostees and caffeine-free Sprite. There's nothing wrong with giving people the benefit of the doubt, a concept that has nothing to do with clutch shots and points per game averages. While I still don't know enough about Kobe Bryant's personal life to argue about whether or not he's a "clown," I'm fairly certain I have sufficient evidence to believe Shaq is of the clownish persuasion himself.
Shaq could very well be the most ego-centric, self-absorbed of all professional athletes. Anyone with even a grain of cynicism about modern sports will realize the mammoth implications of that distinction. Why do you think he loves to give himself new nicknames in every interview? Why do you think he goes so far out of his way to make sports writers think he's funny? It's because he needs all the attention on him at all times. He craves the spotlight more than Gloria Swanson in"Sunset Boulevard." I'm not the only one to theorize that Shaq was subconsciously jealous of all the focus Kobe got during his scandal, regardless of it being horribly negative publicity. And why is Shaq still rapping about Kobe and resorting to namecalling about Kobe months after their team ties were severed? It's because he is as bitter as a box of lemonheads about losing the custody battle that was the Lakers team. He's still fuming and so he's still spouting off to the media every chance he gets. I've already said all this before so I'll leave at that.
I do praise Kobe for not being baited into this pettiness by Shaq, but I am not defending Kobe Bryant in any way. To be honest, I have never really considered Kobe Bryant outside of the realm of basketball. Shaq, however, was one of my favorites, a larger than life jokester who knew not to take life too seriously. I wish I could see him that way now.
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His latest comments came after news broke that Kobe Bryant had implicated him to Colorado investigators as having paid up to $1 million in hush money to women he'd had affairs with.
His first comments came on Wednesday.
"This whole situation is ridiculous," Shaq told ESPN. "I never hang out with Kobe, I never hung around him. In the seven or eight years we were together, we were never together. So how this guy can think he knows anything about me or my business is funny. And one last thing -- I'm not the one buying love. He's the one buying love."
Did I miss the part where he denied the allegations? The only time I've heard anyone so deftly avoid actually answering a question was in last night's Presidential Debate. I presume his comment about "buying love" is in reference to the Jewel-of-the-Nile-esque diamond ring Kobe bought for his wife as an apparent apology gift. Unless he's indicating that Mrs. Bryant is a mail-order bride, I can't imagine what else he could mean. Shaq may have a point there, but he's missing the bigger point in that, while Kobe might be the one "buying love," both former champs are cheating love with their infidelities.
Yes, I believe that Kobe's statement is somewhat accurate. Everyone knows he and Shaq were not best buddies that hung out with each other in their spare time, but when teammates are on the road together over the course of several seasons, you can bet they know how each other spends his spare time to some extent. Besides, why would he say that to a couple cops if it weren't true? What could he possibly stand to gain from that? He said it matter of factly while being informally interrogated about a possible sexual assault. What would the thought process supposedly be there? "These cops are asking me if I raped a girl...What a great opportunity to make false allegations of infidelity about Shaq!" Sounds believable to me, sure.
Let's not forget the timing of Kobe's barbs versus Shaq's retort either. Kobe made the comments in private over a year ago in a situation where he could not have imagined his words being spread over the newswires worldwide. Once it appeared the comments may be leaked to the media, Kobe's defense team did all it could to keep the transcript under wraps to protect Shaq, if not to protect Kobe. When did Shaq answer back? It was only after the news broke more than a year after the comments were made. And who did Shaq give his response to? It wasn't a couple cops in a surprise visit, it was the national media so all the sporting world could hear it. Where as Kobe's comments really had no personal intention, Shaq's had only that. Shaq's shots were meant to rip his former-teammate now-archrival. What's more, Shaq knew about Kobe's implication before training camp of last year. They played together in camp and over eight months of an NBA season together and Shaq waited to respond until after he'd been traded to a team 3,000 miles away? C'mon! He should have dealt with Kobe in person and behind closed doors, not waited until now and used the national media as his microphone. It's not as if Kobe intentionally released the transcript to spite Shaq so why does The Big Baby have to snipe back at comments that were 15 months old? I'll explain why I think he does later. First let me relay Shaq's next take on the player he affectionately referred to as his little brother on a number of occasions.
On Thursday, Shaq had this to say to local Florida paper while doing a photo shoot.
"The guy's a joke. I'm just trying to tell the world that the whole time, but just because he hits a couple of shots, everybody thinks he's a great person. He's a clown."
Of course, we all want to believe that the people we worship as sports heroes are virtuous people off the court or field and that is why we often give them that benefit of the doubt until they prove us wrong. For example, without having any real evidence to support it, my vision of Shaq The Family Man was always of a responsible father and husband. Until I heard he too was a frequent adulterer, using women to satisfy urges on the road like Mark Madsen used Wendy's Frostees and caffeine-free Sprite. There's nothing wrong with giving people the benefit of the doubt, a concept that has nothing to do with clutch shots and points per game averages. While I still don't know enough about Kobe Bryant's personal life to argue about whether or not he's a "clown," I'm fairly certain I have sufficient evidence to believe Shaq is of the clownish persuasion himself.
Shaq could very well be the most ego-centric, self-absorbed of all professional athletes. Anyone with even a grain of cynicism about modern sports will realize the mammoth implications of that distinction. Why do you think he loves to give himself new nicknames in every interview? Why do you think he goes so far out of his way to make sports writers think he's funny? It's because he needs all the attention on him at all times. He craves the spotlight more than Gloria Swanson in"Sunset Boulevard." I'm not the only one to theorize that Shaq was subconsciously jealous of all the focus Kobe got during his scandal, regardless of it being horribly negative publicity. And why is Shaq still rapping about Kobe and resorting to namecalling about Kobe months after their team ties were severed? It's because he is as bitter as a box of lemonheads about losing the custody battle that was the Lakers team. He's still fuming and so he's still spouting off to the media every chance he gets. I've already said all this before so I'll leave at that.
I do praise Kobe for not being baited into this pettiness by Shaq, but I am not defending Kobe Bryant in any way. To be honest, I have never really considered Kobe Bryant outside of the realm of basketball. Shaq, however, was one of my favorites, a larger than life jokester who knew not to take life too seriously. I wish I could see him that way now.
# posted by j.h.k. @ 6:55 PM 
