Monday, September 13, 2004
NFL Locks of the Week
One of the most enjoyable aspects of the NFL season is the opportunity for anyone who loves sports (or gambling) to formulate their picks each week as to which teams will prevail. Your chances are pretty good at 50/50, but if you manage to get more picks right than wrong, you can actually come out looking fairly rich in pigskin wisdom. Since I need all the help I can get in that department, I'm gonna take my shot at gridiron prognostication with my Locks of the Week. Take it to the bank, the following events WILL happen this week or my name isn't Trip Fontaine.
1. Browns Are the New Ravens (literally and figuratively)--Ravens running back Jamal Lewis trampled the Browns for more than 500 yards in two games last season and the Browns haven't won a season opener since 1999, but I've got a good feeling about this one. I'll take the Browns by more than two touchdowns and I'll predict they hold Jamal to less than 60 yards rushing. I know, I know...you like me...but I'm crazy.
2. Vikings vs. Big D in the Twin Cities? Oh yah!--I like the team from Minneapolis(and St. Paul) in this one behind--hmmmm--5 touchdowns by Daunte Culpepper. I've got a sneaking suspicion that even at 40 years old, Cowboys quarterback Vinny Testeverde will still throw for a league best 355 yards in the loss. By the way, I'd like to send out a nationwide call to all fantasy owners of Mr. Culpepper and implore you to change each and every one of your team names to "Daunte's Inferno." I'm tempted to trade Joey Galloway AND Mike Anderson for him just so I can do the same.
3. Griffin Gallops Way to Bronco Win--I know Quentin Griffin is 5'7" and I know this is going to be his first NFL start, but, damnit if he can't break the franchise record for yards in an opening game. Ya gotta believe and when it comes to Quentin Griffin, I sure do.
That's it for this week. Those are my locks. Those are outcomes and achievements I promise you will happen. Call your local bookie and bet the farm on it. If I'm wrong, I'll pay you back with interest.
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1. Browns Are the New Ravens (literally and figuratively)--Ravens running back Jamal Lewis trampled the Browns for more than 500 yards in two games last season and the Browns haven't won a season opener since 1999, but I've got a good feeling about this one. I'll take the Browns by more than two touchdowns and I'll predict they hold Jamal to less than 60 yards rushing. I know, I know...you like me...but I'm crazy.
2. Vikings vs. Big D in the Twin Cities? Oh yah!--I like the team from Minneapolis(and St. Paul) in this one behind--hmmmm--5 touchdowns by Daunte Culpepper. I've got a sneaking suspicion that even at 40 years old, Cowboys quarterback Vinny Testeverde will still throw for a league best 355 yards in the loss. By the way, I'd like to send out a nationwide call to all fantasy owners of Mr. Culpepper and implore you to change each and every one of your team names to "Daunte's Inferno." I'm tempted to trade Joey Galloway AND Mike Anderson for him just so I can do the same.
3. Griffin Gallops Way to Bronco Win--I know Quentin Griffin is 5'7" and I know this is going to be his first NFL start, but, damnit if he can't break the franchise record for yards in an opening game. Ya gotta believe and when it comes to Quentin Griffin, I sure do.
That's it for this week. Those are my locks. Those are outcomes and achievements I promise you will happen. Call your local bookie and bet the farm on it. If I'm wrong, I'll pay you back with interest.
# posted by j.h.k. @ 1:37 PM 
