Thursday, October 21, 2004
It's A Good Thing I Don't Own A Gun...
So I went to the grocery store last night after the game. It's 9:30 p.m. and I'm in line behind one of these raving lunatics that curses to themselves or whoever is with them whom they see but the rest of the world does not. As if watching her smash potato chip bags into her personal cart wasn't enough, I had to endure this encounter with two early 20s bimbai (Glendale version)...
Girl: Can I cut in line? I'm just buying cigarettes.
Me (thinking): And I'm just buying a bag of cat food and some cookies. I've been waiting for fifteen minutes, so can you.
Me (speaking): Sure.
Girl (to checker): The Red Sox beat the Yankees.
Checker: Yeah, I know. Somebody told us when it ended.
Girl: Yeah, they're going to the World Series now; they haven't been since like 1918 or something.
Girl2: 1918, did they have baseball then?
Checker: They've had baseball since the 1800's.
Girl2: 1800's? Wasn't that like when the dinosaurs were alive?
Me(thinking and turning red with rage): Yeah, my great grandfather was a Triceratops. Those cigarettes sure haven't made you smarter. And the Red Sox went to the World Series in nineteen-eighty-f'in-six! You know, when Abe Lincoln was President! Get off the bandwagon or at least move closer to the engine so I can't hear the incessant bile spewing from your mouth!
Checker(To me as the girls walk away): Our precious education dollars, huh?
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Is there really a difference between Javier Vazquez and Esteban Loiaza? Are we sure they're not the same person switching uniforms? When was the last time you actually saw them both at the same time?
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Girl: Can I cut in line? I'm just buying cigarettes.
Me (thinking): And I'm just buying a bag of cat food and some cookies. I've been waiting for fifteen minutes, so can you.
Me (speaking): Sure.
Girl (to checker): The Red Sox beat the Yankees.
Checker: Yeah, I know. Somebody told us when it ended.
Girl: Yeah, they're going to the World Series now; they haven't been since like 1918 or something.
Girl2: 1918, did they have baseball then?
Checker: They've had baseball since the 1800's.
Girl2: 1800's? Wasn't that like when the dinosaurs were alive?
Me(thinking and turning red with rage): Yeah, my great grandfather was a Triceratops. Those cigarettes sure haven't made you smarter. And the Red Sox went to the World Series in nineteen-eighty-f'in-six! You know, when Abe Lincoln was President! Get off the bandwagon or at least move closer to the engine so I can't hear the incessant bile spewing from your mouth!
Checker(To me as the girls walk away): Our precious education dollars, huh?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Is there really a difference between Javier Vazquez and Esteban Loiaza? Are we sure they're not the same person switching uniforms? When was the last time you actually saw them both at the same time?
# posted by j.h.k. @ 1:46 PM 
