Tuesday, December 21, 2004
'Tis The Season
I've always loved the commercials that are churned out during the festive holiday season. Whether it's the one where big brother comes home from the military on Christmas morning to wake his family with the scent of Folgers coffee, or the one where Ronald McDonald ice skates on the frozen pond, holiday commercials really enhance my Christmas spirit.
That being said, if I see one more f_cking commercial where a thirty-ish husband gives his wife a f_cking Jaguar (JAG-YOU-ARE) or Benz for Christmas, I am going to get violent. Have you seen these ridiculous ads? He leads her out onto the driveway of their gorgeous house on Christmas morning and removes a blindfold to reveal a beautiful new $40K car sitting in the driveway with a giant red bow on it. Who is the target audience here? The early-thirties, filthy rich, home-owning husband? Quite a niche. Please, I'm twenty-six, I owe $9K on my used car, I'm over $50K in student loan debt, and I'm moving because I can't afford the $100 raise in rent on my studio apartment. I don't know anyone remotely near my age who, first of all, owns a house much less buys luxury cars as Christmas gifts. My favorite part is how the husband always wears an expression of great insecurity, always wondering if his wife is going to like his gift...
"A Lexus. Wow."
"Ohhh, do you like it, honey?"
"Well, I do...It's just that..."
"What? Is it the wrong color? I kept the receipt if you would prefer to get it in red. Maybe you would prefer the coupe instead?"
"No no, I love it...I just thought, well...I just kinda wanted a BMW. But it's the thought that counts! Oh thank you, my love! Did you like your gift?"
"Are you kidding, Lovey? I adore my 50-ft. yacht! And the name, 'Disposable Income,' you are so funny!"
Gag me with a wooden spoon from Wal-Mart. If I ever give my wife a car for Christmas, she'd better burst the f_ck out in song. Seriously, doesn't the common man have it tough enough trying to keep his woman happy? Does he really need crap like this putting delusions of grandeur into her head? Maybe this crap plays in the midwest, but it sure as sh_t doesn't play too well here in LA where 600 sq. ft. will run you a half a million dollars.
Happy Holidays, everyone!
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That being said, if I see one more f_cking commercial where a thirty-ish husband gives his wife a f_cking Jaguar (JAG-YOU-ARE) or Benz for Christmas, I am going to get violent. Have you seen these ridiculous ads? He leads her out onto the driveway of their gorgeous house on Christmas morning and removes a blindfold to reveal a beautiful new $40K car sitting in the driveway with a giant red bow on it. Who is the target audience here? The early-thirties, filthy rich, home-owning husband? Quite a niche. Please, I'm twenty-six, I owe $9K on my used car, I'm over $50K in student loan debt, and I'm moving because I can't afford the $100 raise in rent on my studio apartment. I don't know anyone remotely near my age who, first of all, owns a house much less buys luxury cars as Christmas gifts. My favorite part is how the husband always wears an expression of great insecurity, always wondering if his wife is going to like his gift...
"A Lexus. Wow."
"Ohhh, do you like it, honey?"
"Well, I do...It's just that..."
"What? Is it the wrong color? I kept the receipt if you would prefer to get it in red. Maybe you would prefer the coupe instead?"
"No no, I love it...I just thought, well...I just kinda wanted a BMW. But it's the thought that counts! Oh thank you, my love! Did you like your gift?"
"Are you kidding, Lovey? I adore my 50-ft. yacht! And the name, 'Disposable Income,' you are so funny!"
Gag me with a wooden spoon from Wal-Mart. If I ever give my wife a car for Christmas, she'd better burst the f_ck out in song. Seriously, doesn't the common man have it tough enough trying to keep his woman happy? Does he really need crap like this putting delusions of grandeur into her head? Maybe this crap plays in the midwest, but it sure as sh_t doesn't play too well here in LA where 600 sq. ft. will run you a half a million dollars.
Happy Holidays, everyone!
# posted by j.h.k. @ 8:54 AM 
