Wednesday, January 05, 2005
An "Average" Win
Oh...Hell...Yes.
After weeks of trashtalking by Oklahoma's Larry Birdine, the USC Trojans finally issued a retort in the form of a 55-19 ass-whooping. The game was sponsored by Fedex and the Trojans' domination came signed, sealed, and delivered before the first quarter expired. Sometimes numbers speak louder than words.
Even more shocking than Birdine's outlandish comments was the fact that he is not even a starter for the once proud Sooners, a tidbit I did not learn until last night and one which caused me to almost drop a pitcher in laughter. I've read every Orange Bowl article I could get my hands on today and I watched last night's Sportscenter three times. I can't believe nobody tracked down Larry Birdine to ask him for his postgame analysis of a team he had previously called "average." That's not poor sportsmanship and it's not in poor taste; that's just fundamental journalism. I mean, what are comments like his worth without a follow-up?
Since everyone with a press pass fumbled like Adrian Peterson after meeting his cardinal-clad maker, I'll ask the questions here that should have been asked at Loquacious Larry's locker...
Larry, do you still feel that USC is just an average team? If they had beaten you by more than 36 points, would you be convinced that they are, perhaps, above average?
How do you explain the 332 yards and 5 touchdowns without an interception that the overrated Matt Leinart threw?
If after such a big-game performance you think Matt Leinart still should not have received the Heisman, what is your assessment of your teammate, Jason White?
Since he followed up his 0 TD, 2 INT choke in the Sugar Bowl with a 2 TD, 3 INT flop in the Orange Bowl and with your strict standards for Heisman winners, do you think he should be stripped of his trophy?
After saying that nobody other than Reggie Bush really stood out to you, did you get a chance to meet Lendale White this evening? He was the guy that walked all over you for 118 yards and 2 touchdowns in a mere 15 carries. You guys should talk.
But enough about Larry. His comments turned out to be nothing more than a postgame joke. Allow me to praise the USC Trojans and the Trojan coaching staff for conducting themselves like gentlemen heading into the game, and for standing tall like men throughout the game. We found out very quickly who the fraud was in this game. USC did it's talking on the field, took an emotionally fragile Oklahoma team by the ear, and forced them to listen and listen good. USC once again stands for more than University of Southern California; USC stands for Pride, Courage, and Integrity. They have left no doubt about that.
Pete Carroll guided his defense with the all-knowing confidence of a jedi knight. After watching SC's defenders pummel Adrian Peterson with punishing gang tackles time and time again, one had to wonder if Pete was dialing up actual plays or just using The Force.
Norm Chow, or Krang as I have now dubbed him, might as well have kicked his feet up and lit a cigar in the first quarter as it became quickly obvious that Bob Stoops' defensive scheming was about as complex as a game of fetch. I would not be surprised if all those shots of Chow looking perplexed in the booth had actually caught him engrossed in the New York Times crossword puzzle.
Steve Smith followed a brilliant fingertip catch with a one-handed job while piggybacking an OU defender while laying down in the endzone. That latter catch, I decree, was the greatest catch in the history of sports. That 'ol Dwight Clark thing? Slice-and-bake cookie dough compared to Steve Smith's creme brule. My buddy The Cruiser suggested Jim edmonds' over-the-shoulder Willie Mays impersonation was better. I would agree if he had caught it with his bare hand and a 200-lb. man on his back. Number 2 is the new Number 1.
That's the thing with SC these days...We've always got it backwards. Everytime they're supposed to suffer some dropoff (Palmer, Williams, Colbert), they only get better (Leinart, Jarrett, Smith). I'm not saying one player is better than another, just that their perceived weaknesses turn out to be their greatest strengths. Is there a better definition of a well-coached team?
I leave you with one final quote as I frolic from cloud nine to cloud eleven (as in National Championships), my buddy Scott said this about Norm Chow...
"Norm Chow is like Tupac, he'll be dead for seven years and he'll still be coming out with new plays."
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After weeks of trashtalking by Oklahoma's Larry Birdine, the USC Trojans finally issued a retort in the form of a 55-19 ass-whooping. The game was sponsored by Fedex and the Trojans' domination came signed, sealed, and delivered before the first quarter expired. Sometimes numbers speak louder than words.
Even more shocking than Birdine's outlandish comments was the fact that he is not even a starter for the once proud Sooners, a tidbit I did not learn until last night and one which caused me to almost drop a pitcher in laughter. I've read every Orange Bowl article I could get my hands on today and I watched last night's Sportscenter three times. I can't believe nobody tracked down Larry Birdine to ask him for his postgame analysis of a team he had previously called "average." That's not poor sportsmanship and it's not in poor taste; that's just fundamental journalism. I mean, what are comments like his worth without a follow-up?
Since everyone with a press pass fumbled like Adrian Peterson after meeting his cardinal-clad maker, I'll ask the questions here that should have been asked at Loquacious Larry's locker...
Larry, do you still feel that USC is just an average team? If they had beaten you by more than 36 points, would you be convinced that they are, perhaps, above average?
How do you explain the 332 yards and 5 touchdowns without an interception that the overrated Matt Leinart threw?
If after such a big-game performance you think Matt Leinart still should not have received the Heisman, what is your assessment of your teammate, Jason White?
Since he followed up his 0 TD, 2 INT choke in the Sugar Bowl with a 2 TD, 3 INT flop in the Orange Bowl and with your strict standards for Heisman winners, do you think he should be stripped of his trophy?
After saying that nobody other than Reggie Bush really stood out to you, did you get a chance to meet Lendale White this evening? He was the guy that walked all over you for 118 yards and 2 touchdowns in a mere 15 carries. You guys should talk.
But enough about Larry. His comments turned out to be nothing more than a postgame joke. Allow me to praise the USC Trojans and the Trojan coaching staff for conducting themselves like gentlemen heading into the game, and for standing tall like men throughout the game. We found out very quickly who the fraud was in this game. USC did it's talking on the field, took an emotionally fragile Oklahoma team by the ear, and forced them to listen and listen good. USC once again stands for more than University of Southern California; USC stands for Pride, Courage, and Integrity. They have left no doubt about that.
Pete Carroll guided his defense with the all-knowing confidence of a jedi knight. After watching SC's defenders pummel Adrian Peterson with punishing gang tackles time and time again, one had to wonder if Pete was dialing up actual plays or just using The Force.
Norm Chow, or Krang as I have now dubbed him, might as well have kicked his feet up and lit a cigar in the first quarter as it became quickly obvious that Bob Stoops' defensive scheming was about as complex as a game of fetch. I would not be surprised if all those shots of Chow looking perplexed in the booth had actually caught him engrossed in the New York Times crossword puzzle.
Steve Smith followed a brilliant fingertip catch with a one-handed job while piggybacking an OU defender while laying down in the endzone. That latter catch, I decree, was the greatest catch in the history of sports. That 'ol Dwight Clark thing? Slice-and-bake cookie dough compared to Steve Smith's creme brule. My buddy The Cruiser suggested Jim edmonds' over-the-shoulder Willie Mays impersonation was better. I would agree if he had caught it with his bare hand and a 200-lb. man on his back. Number 2 is the new Number 1.
That's the thing with SC these days...We've always got it backwards. Everytime they're supposed to suffer some dropoff (Palmer, Williams, Colbert), they only get better (Leinart, Jarrett, Smith). I'm not saying one player is better than another, just that their perceived weaknesses turn out to be their greatest strengths. Is there a better definition of a well-coached team?
I leave you with one final quote as I frolic from cloud nine to cloud eleven (as in National Championships), my buddy Scott said this about Norm Chow...
"Norm Chow is like Tupac, he'll be dead for seven years and he'll still be coming out with new plays."
# posted by j.h.k. @ 1:02 PM 
